I SAMUEL 20 Lesson # 21
THE PLACE OF PROMISE IN FRIENDSHIP
I. Introduction:
Note: Today’s text, at first glance, centers on deep friendship, but we will see that it deals with that and more!
Q What makes a good friend?
Q What qualities are most important to you in a friend?
Q How important is loyalty to friendship?
An = The last few weeks we have seen how David’s early successes led to the stirring of deep jealousy in the heart of Saul. Saul had made seven attempts on David’s life by the time our chapter opens: two attempts through the Philistines, three times with a spear, one other attempt that was aborted by Saul’s own daughter, Michal, and finally the bold attempt at Ramah with troops. The last attempt made it clear that Saul had deep animosity towards David. David knows he is in trouble and so he seeks out a friend: Jonathan.
II. Trying To Convince A Friend Of Bad News. I Samuel 20:1-11.
A. David Seeks Understanding: I Samuel 20:1-4.
>>>> Have someone read I Samuel 20:1-4.
Q What is David seeking in 20:1?
An = Understanding of `why’ Saul wants to kill him. Sometimes it makes it easy to bear if we can figure out why people are so cruel.
Q Does Jonathan readily believe what David says about Jonathan’s father?
An = No! Jonathan considered himself his father’s confidant. He must have respected his father and he had seen his father change his mind and listen to reason at the beginning of chapter 19. His father was a great man, he was the first king, and the Lord had evidently used Saul, Saul was certainly a very religious man, and the Lord had clearly been with his father (20:13). Jonathan was very loyal to his father and would remain so. He would eventually die in battle loyal to his dad.
Q What are the arguments that David presents in 20:3?
An = He first counters the argument that Saul would seek David’s harm without telling Jonathan by pointing out the obvious fact that Saul was aware of Jonathan’s deep friendship and attachment to David (especially after 19:1-6). Then he took a vow “truly as the Lord lives”. David takes the Lord’s Name to validate his assertion. Good friends will settle things with an oath, with a swearing of their word.
Q Do friends have to be given arguments to have their minds changed or should they just be expected to believe everything a good friend says?
An = Good friends give good friends good arguments when they want to change their minds. To get your feelings hurt when your friend does not understand immediately something that is so foreign to their thinking is unfair. The same is true for our spouses. They have a right to hear good and rational arguments. They should not just believe you. Such a demand is not fair.
Note: Sometimes we get angry when close friends will not believe us, but David does not get mad. He gives a logical reason why Jonathan is “out of the loop” on this and does not just get mad and walk out and claiming betrayal. David is willing to go even further though. He is willing to have his theories tested, to have them proved through actual experience. He proposes a test…. Often we must be willing to creatively prove our points. Good friends will do this.
B. The Test to Determine The Truth. I Samuel 20:5-11.
>>>> Have someone read I Samuel 20:5-11.
Q What is the test or way David wishes to try to prove his viewpoint of Saul’s intentions?
An = The test consisted of whether Saul would be angry with David for requesting to go to his home for a family feast. His reaction would let Jonathan have a window into Saul’s true intentions.
Q According to 20:8 what had David and Jonathan entered into together?
An = A “covenant of the Lord”. No doubt this refers to I Samuel 18:3.
>> Have someone read I Samuel 18:3.
Q What does it mean to enter into a covenant of the Lord?
An = It means to swear loyalty before God. It means to make a deal in the presence of God and to swear before Him that you will keep your word. To violate such a deal or agreement is an affront to God.
Q What is David doing by offering to be killed in 20:8?
An = He is either making an emotional appeal or he is certain of his innocence. He is also giving Jonathan an “out” from the trial. It is hard for a good and loyal son to believe your very own father has “secret wickedness”.
Q In these first eleven verses who initiates all the dialogue and who is always the one responding?
An = David takes all the initative, and Jonathan is always responding. This is important to note. David is in the inferior position here with his life threatened, and he needs help or at least understanding. Notice that he calls himself Jonathan’s “servant” twice in verse 8 (Davis, p. 65).
III. Preliminary to The Test: Outside the City. I Samuel 20:12-23.
A. Covenant Renewal. I Samuel 20:12-17.
Note: The story would make perfect sense if we left verses 12-17 out. We could easily skip to verse 18 and the story would make perfect sense. However, the central part of the story is now going to be given.
>>>> Have someone read I Samuel 20:12-17.
Q Who is the aggressor now? Who speaks first and initiates all the conversation?
An = Jonathan. Jonathan is now the aggressor and will remain so through out the chapter. If a friendship is always one sided, it is not a true friendship.
Note: Notice that twice (20:12 and 20:13) Jonathan swears before God that he will tell David the truth.
Q What does Jonathan mean in 20:14-15?
An = Jonathan realizes David’s request for loyalty may cost him his life and he is sort of a prophet here. He twice asks David to be faithful to him personally and also to his family. Jonathan realizes that the Lord is with David and that the future will reveal God’s blessing and he will be in the inferior position. He is asking David to swear that he will be to Jonathan and Jonathan’s family what Jonathan is now to David.
Q According to 20:17 what motivated David to renew the vow or covenant?
An = David’s great love for Jonathan. He loved Jonathan as he loved his own life.
>> Have someone read I Samuel 18:3.
B. The Setting Up of Informational Transfer: the Arrow Game. I Samuel 20:18-23.
>>>> Have someone read I Samuel 20:18-23.
Q What does Jonathan remind David of in 20:23?
An = The covenant between them that was taken before the Lord. David vowed twice in 20:3, once in 8 and 17. Jonathan vowed in 20:12,13,14,15,16,17,21 and in 23. The center of their relationship is their “oath” or the keeping of their word to one another.
Q Can there be such friendship without such security?
IV. The Test In The City: Saul Fails. I Samuel 20:24-34.
>>>> Have someone read I Samuel 20:24-34.
Q How does Saul do in the test?
An = It reveals that David was right in his assessment of Saul’s intentions.
Q Saul answers David’s original question in 20:1, what is the answer?
An = Saul sees David as a threat to Saul’s dynasty and therefore his own heir’s future. That is why Saul is so mad and bad-mouths Jonathan’s mother. He is enraged that Jonathan does not see what is in his own self interest. We know Jonathan is already willing to give David the pride of first place and the kingship (see 18:4).
Q What is Jonathan grieved over: his potential loss of a kingship or David’s honor?
An = His friend’s honor. This says something about the depth of Jonathan’s character and the depth of his love for his friend.
Q What will Jonathan’s loyalty to David cost him?
An = His kingship. Jonathan will not become king. David will. Jonathan will die, loyally by his “God-rejected father” and David will become the great forerunner of the Messiah. True friends will keep their word no matter what it cost them.
Q God has made a “covenant” with us. What does it cost His reputation to stay loyal to us when we sin?
Q If we are in a covenant-relationship to God what will it cost us?
Q Should we expect our loyalty to God to cost us?
>>>> Turn to Luke 14:26 and read it together.
Q Does Jonathan understand this verse?
Note: Davis says: “Life does not consist of achieving your goals but in fulfilling your promises” (Davis, p. 70).
V. Episode Outside the City: The Matter of Arrows. I Samuel 20:35-42.
>>>> Have someone read I Samuel 20:35-42.
Q How does Jonathan tell David to go?
An = NIV says “in peace”. NASB says “in safety” but “in peace”, in shalom is the correct translation.
Q How can David go in peace with Saul breathing down his neck to kill him?
An = The answer is in the word shalom or “peace” and in verse 42 itself. In the first place the word shalom does not mean “absence of conflict” but “in harmony” or “in communion”. Notice that 20:42 says David is to go in peace because “we have sworn friendship with each other in the Name of the Lord”.
Note: Davis reminds us that the Christian does not have peace because things go easy or are free of stress but because “a greater one than Jonathan has pledged his friendship to him” (Davis, p. 72). He goes on to remind us that when we take the communion cup Jesus has sealed with his blood, his “covenant” his swearing of loyalty to us. “This cup is the new covenant sealed in my blood”. It is in God that we have, as Davis says, “that unforsaking Friend that speaks peace in our disappointments, dangers, and even disasters”.
>>>> Have someone read Romans 5:1 Note the word “peace” here.
>>>> Then have the same person read Romans 5:3-5.