II SAMUEL 19 Lesson # 21

COMING HOME

I. Introduction:

Q What is the most memorable, happy, homing coming that you have personally experienced?

An = See if some will share.

Q Have all your home comings been happy?

Q Do you remember a home coming when you were not completely sure everyone wanted you back? What was that like? What was the reason?

Note: As we have been reading about David’s flight from Jerusalem and from his rebel son Absalom. We watched David leave in a long and sad manner filled with various expressions of support, rejection and betrayal. David was almost killed by his own son and betrayed by the people he had led to countless victories; but again he triumphed over his enemies in battle. However, we ended the last chapter watching David being mired in complete misery and sadness. David won in one sense, but in a more terrible sense he lost. David lost his son.

David was again victor, again the king, and now he had to “come home”.

II. Duty Over Feeling: II Samuel 19:1-8.

>>>> Have someone read II Samuel 19:1-4.

Q How did the David’s grieving affect David’s troops?

An = They slipped into the city as men who were defeated and ashamed.

>>>> Have someone read II Samuel 19:5-8.

Q How did Joab react to David’s grieving?

An = With a strong rebuke. He accuses David of being highly self-centered in his grieving process. He says your actions are saying: “I would be happier if my own troops were dead and the rest of the royal family slaughtered, and Absalom, the rebel, still alive”.

Q Can you understand how David felt?

An = Let them share their viewpoints, especially if they have ever lost a wayward child.

Q Is David truly guilty of what Joab accuses him of?

An = Actually, no. David is thankful his family was saved and his kingship was saved and that his troops were victorious and safe. He is also grieving.

However, Joab is right in what David’s behavior is communicating to his troops. David’s actions are communicating the wrong thing, as genuine and honest, as his emotions are.

Q Are we responsible for how people perceive our actions?

An = David seems to think he is responsible. He does go out in 19:8 and greets the troops. Perhaps, it would be possible to say that we are responsible for how people perceive our actions, to the extent that we can help them understand. What David did in 19:8 did not make him a liar or compromise his integrity, or dishonor his son Absalom.

I believe David did the right and unselfish thing. His men deserved his presence, thanks and appreciation. His grief was valid and genuine but so were his obligations to those still alive and for whom he was responsible.

Q How does this help us see how we should deal with our grief?

III. Bringing Back the King: 19:9-43

A. Tribal Decisions and Negotiations: 19:9-15.

>>>> Have someone read II Samuel 19:9-10.

Q What were the tribes of Israel arguing over?

An = What should be done now that Absalom was not a royal option. They admitted that David had delivered them from their enemies, especially the Philistines. David had been forced to flee when they anointed Absalom, but Absalom was now dead. This issue was how to bring back the King.

Note: People soon forget. They were willing to have Absalom despite David having delivered them, but now they were open to having David back. The problem was how to bring back the king they had deserted.

Note: The people of Israel talked about it, but they did nothing.

>>>> Have someone read II Samuel 19:11-15.

Q Why does David approach the tribe of Judah?

An = It was how he first became king. He started by building a constituency with the tribe of Judah, and so he is going back to things that had worked for him. He approaches the tribe on two basis: macro and micro. On a macro level he openly states that he regarded them as his relatives: his flesh and bone. On a micro level he openly forgives his cousin for taking the role of the rebel army commander and offers to make him the commander of the Kingdom in Joab’s place.

Q Is this a good political move?

An = Yes, it is. Remember the rebellion started in Hebron, David’s old capital city. Most scholars feel that the tribe of Judah was reluctant to approach David, because they seemed to have backed the rebellion. David shows graciousness and forgiveness and wins over the entire tribe. David forgave, in a specific instance (Amasa), and he recognized common bonds.

Note: If we want to come home into a difficult situation, we will have to make the first move and forgive in specific and recognize common bonds.

B. Making Peace with the Tribe of Benjamin: II Samuel 19:16-23.

>>>> Have someone read II Samuel 19:16-23.

Q How does David make peace with the tribe of Benjamin and the house of Saul?

An = Again, David forgives on a micro level (one person) and then brings about harmony in the macro sphere with the tribe of Benjamin.

Q Who is Shimei?

An = This is the man in II Samuel 16:5-14 who threw dirt, rocks and insults at David, as David left Jerusalem running for his life.

Note: Now that David is king again Shimei is quite conciliatory. It is amazing how quick people are to change their viewpoints when there is a swing of power. Folks sure change their moral tone when there is a reversal of fortunes. Everyone loves a winner.

Q Was Zeruiah all for forgiving Shimei?

An = No, he was not. He suggested that Shimei be put to death right then for cursing David. Zeruiah has not changed much from the last time he met with Shimei. >>>> Have someone read II Samuel 16:9.

Note: David is a secure man. He does not need to take revenge. We come home successfully, despite the ugly way we left, when we are secure in our hearts who we are. An insecure man would have killed Shimei.

C. Making Peace with Mephibosheth: II Samuel 19:24-30.

>>>> Have someone read II Samuel 19:24-30.

Q Who does David forgive this time?

An = Mephibosheth. It seems that Mephibosheth did not betray David, but David is not sure. He splits the land between Ziba (who seemingly lied about his master) and Mephibosheth (who apparently was the victim of betrayal himself).

Note: David has no way of knowing who is telling the truth. Therefore he splits the property. David does not know who is telling the truth, but he is willing to forgive Mephibosheth.

Q What do all three of these episodes 19:11-30 have in common?

An = David comes home to difficult situation and his major operating principle is forgiveness: He forgives his cousin, Amasa, for being the commander of the rebel army and offers him the top post in his army. He forgives Shimei who cursed him when David was down. He forgives Mephibosheth when David was not sure who was telling the truth.

Note: All three of these men do not deserve forgiveness. If we want to come home we have to forgive the undeserving.

D. Paying Back Old Debts on Other’s Terms: II Samuel 19:31-39.

>>>> Have someone read II Samuel 19:31-39.

Q Who is David dealing with this time?

An = Barzillai, an old and loyal ally. Barzillai was a very rich man and had given extensively to David’s needs while he was on the run. David wants to repay his debts.

Q What does David offer Barzillai?

An = He offers him the luxury of living in the capital at David’s expense.

Q Why does Barzillai refuse the king’s offer?

An = Barzillai says he is too old to enjoy such things and he knows his time is near and he wants to be buried in his home town.

Q What is Barzillai’s counter offer in 19:37?

An = That David gives such honors to his son Chimham.

Note: Notice the little back-and-forth play in 19:37-38. Barzillai says do for Chimham what you desire and David returns with I will do for him what you, Barzillai desire.

Note: When we offer help we must be willing to help in the manner that people really want. David is secure enough and wise enough to be willing to pay his bills in “the currency” of the person who is being given to. David wants to bless, but he does not insist on his terms. David is a warrior returning in glory but does not run over folks.

David enters Jerusalem with forgiveness (11-30) and humility (31-39).

Note: If we want to come home to a difficult situation we need to remember those who helped us when we were away. We need to be willing to recognize and remember those who helped us on the way. When we repay debts we should do so in the manner and way that they would like to be repaid.

E. Coming Home to Factional Disputes: II Samuel 19:40-43.

>>>> Have someone read II Samuel 19:40-43.

Q What are Judah and the Northern Tribes fighting over?

An = They both want to be positioned to have power and influence with David, as he returns to his kingdom. Remember, everyone loves a winner.

Note: The Israelite, Northern Tribes, complain Judah is stealing the king, when they did nothing to bring the king back but just talked about it. It is true they at least talked about it and Judah did nothing, but neither group did anything until David himself made overtures.

Q These people were petty then about power and have things changed much since then?

Q When you come home to a difficult situation, can you control all situations?

An = You cannot stop all petty arguing. The Bible is a realistic book. It wants us to be guided as to how to work with our feelings of grief, how to forgive, and how to repay debts, but that not all situations can work out well. Some people will always remain petty.

IV. Conclusion: Coming Home.

Note: Coming home to God is much the same. When we have sinned, we can come home, and we too can expect forgiveness, despite the messy, difficult situations we have gotten ourselves into.

>>>> Have someone read Hosea 14:1-7

>>>> Have someone read Revelations 3:19-20.